Notes on Courage to be Disliked
Key takeaways from "The Courage to be Disliked" by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga, exploring Adlerian psychology.
Kevin Adu-PokuDeny Trauma
Using the past to determine the present via cause and effect leads to determinism
The past doesn't matter
Trauma Does Not Exist
Adler "We are not determined by our experiences, but the meaning we give them is self-determining"
Treating life as a narrative causes a causality and sense of dramatic development.
People Fabricate Anger
Anger is a means to achieve a goal, can be wielded and sheathed at will.
How to Live Without Being Controlled by the Past
Regardless of what may have happened in the past, the meaning that is attributed to it will determine the way someone's present will be.
The premise that people can change allows infinite possibilities to occur.
Socrates and Adler
Arrive to answers through self-discovery and have discussions to improve understanding
Are You Okay Just As You Are?
Wishing to be someone else indicates that I am seeking happiness that I do not currently have
Unhappiness Is Something You Choose for Yourself
Fixating on what you are born with does not change reality, we need renewal not replacement.
Greek word for good (agathon) does not have moral mean, it just means beneficial
(kakon) evil means not beneficial
We choose unhappiness because it provides a form of good (agathon) for onself
People Always Choose Not to Change
Personality and disposition are described as "lifestyle" in Adlerian psychology.
Lifestyle broadly means the worldview of a person and their outlook on life.
One is unable to change because they've made the decision not to.
When trying to change lifestyles it requires great courage. There is anxiety and potential disappointment with the lack of change.
Your Life Is Decided Here and Now
Make the decision to stop current lifestyle and develop the lifestyle you'd love
The thought that one can do anything if they try, prevents committing and accomplishing whatever abstract goal they may have.
Living in the here and now allows one to have full control of their life.
Feelings of Inferiority Are Subject Assumptions
Feeling inferior stems from subjectivity, for instance height with no comparison is neither short nor tall. Conferring any and all benefits to height removes control in perception.
Subjectivity allows choice. I can view my height as an advantage or disadvantage
Value is based on social context
An Inferiority Complex Is an Excuse
Pursuit of superiority - Universal desire to escape helpless state we're born into
Feeling inferior is a motivator that we attempt to rid by moving forward
It's okay to feel inferior time to time, developing a complex causes learned helplessness
Life Is Not a Competition
It's enough to move forward, there's no need for comparisons.
Competition gets in the way of growth.
You're the Only One Worrying About Your Appearance
Making the world a competition, forces comparison with all leading to everyone being an enemy
People can't be happy because they're living in competition. World is a perilous place, full of enemies
The terror of competition is even when winning it robs you of peace due to the constant threat of being beaten.
People are not paying attention to your life as much as you think they are
View people as comrades and life will dramatically change in opportunity